Biggest Loser Blues.

I wish i could go on the biggest loser.

Its like a televised fat camp.

I've tried, but I can't. Some poor decisions i made in the past

disqualifies me from being on the show.  

That's okay though, because part of the criteria is being away from home for almost a year.. and

i wouldn't be able to do that.

BUT i really want to find a group of fatties that do this kind of stuff.

There's nothing more uncomfortable than going to the gym and it being a room full of 

hot bodies staring you down like you belong in the circus.

I want to be around other large people who are going through it too. 

One on one training scares me because i'm so nervous about  getting my feelings hurt.

I don't like when people yell at me or tell me what to do.. so i'm just afraid i may end

up throwing a barbell at somebodies face and not getting my refund.

On a side note, i've had problems with my sciatic nerve for a few years now, and yesterday

it came back to visit. Movement is limited for a few days and i HATE that i can't work out.

I'm still eating the right foods, but this is really going to slow me down for 

this weekends weigh in :(

Bleh.

xoxo.

Compare where you are to where you want to be and you'll get nowhere.

HAHA. This was a video i made a year or so ago

while goofing around.

It just so happens to be one of my favorite songs and 

REALLY matches how i've felt today.

Punching Week TWO in the Face.

Here's the deal. 

My scale is on crack.

I knew this before hand, i just never did anything about it. So this morning (weigh-in day) I go to weigh myself and it told me i gained 12 pounds. Now we know that's not possible. SO, i step off, then step back on and it said i lost 8 pounds. Which also wasn't possible. So, instead of fighting with it, and knowing i needed something more accurate, i headed out to buy a new one. 

This one measures all kinds of junk and was a bit more expensive.

Ya get what ya pay for, right?

SO. Lets say my last weigh in a week ago was accurate... if that is so.. and the NEW scale is accurate.. that would mean i lost 1.2 pounds. 

Unacceptable. 

In fact: it makes me SO mad that i'm going to convince myself that my last scale was screwed up beyond belief and i've probably lost more than that, but there is no way to ever know.

That seems like the way to keep myself going and NOT feeling like i'm doing all of this for no reason.

I mean.. really. I lose more than 1.2 pounds on the toilet. 

Here's a big middle finger to week TWO. You can't stop me.

Now, somebody come work out with me..

pweese?

Day ELEVEN.

HOLA.

First of all i would like to clarify that i HAVE NOT

given up

relapsed 

fallen off the wagon

OR

failed.

However i have been a tad busy the past few days. 

Every morning i have 4 boiled egg whites, yogurt or a banana.

I'm hooked on this low carb wheat/fiber wrap that i've been using for lunch.

Awesome part is, you can put damn near anything in it. For me, its usually chicken, romaine lettuce, cheddar and sometimes, more boiled egg whites. Lol.

  I've also been eating several of these..

There's all different kinds, and they are all yummy.

Dinner has been a lot of this....

My cooking is also forcing everyone else to eat healthy.

I REALLY need suggestions on some different veggies though.

I really only tend to like simple things.

Can't do spinach, collards, sprouts, peppers, onions, squash, eggplant, beets..

I'm confidant there is more...

A few of my friends are doing this 'green smoothie' thing.. i've been checking it out.. 

and i just don't think i can do it. 

Blending up pounds of things i don't like in the first place and drinking it...

i might need a little more convincing. 

Anyway. Tonight after din din, Nick and I went power walking around the neighborhood. I worked up a fantastic sweat and it is definitely something i'm going to incorporate that into my daily routine.

I've been so blaaah on the treadmill lately. I'll get on for like 10 minutes and can't do anymore. Which i know is bullshit, because my walk tonight lasted almost an hour.

I lost my ipod so i can't listen to anything. There is no TV in that room. I just need something to distract me from me thinking about how tired i am or how much my legs hurt.

On that note. I have decided to get a trainer. There is a place nearby called IN Shape for WOMEN, and the success stories are amazing. So tomorrow i'm going in for a consultation and my free one week trial :)

I REALLY hate to spend money on something that i could do myself. Seriously. I even cut my own hair.

But i need someone to push me to work out. 

The diet i have in the bag.. its the exercise i need help with.

Regardless, I'll be weighing in every Saturday and i'm unbelievably motivated for this life change.

Time to hit the showers.

Xoxo,

Kelley

Day SEVEN.

Okay, so its been one week on this journey.

The biggest thing for me is the amount of energy i have. 

'Last year' i would have eaten a pound of bacon and a few bagels before noon and then slept through the afternoon while the kids napped. Now i try to see how much i can accomplish while they're napping. 

OH and lets talk about how different the grocery store is here. 

This may sound silly to a few of you, but remember i'm a country girl and if its not food lion or walmart, chances are i've never heard of it. 

Well there is no Food Lion or Kroger here.

Just Publix. Actually the one next to my house is a Publix Greenwise.

Practically everything is organic and there are fruits and vegetables that i've never in my life heard of.

Maybe i'll get around to trying some eventually. ha.

But MY OH MY how my grocery list has changed..

Today was 4 egg whites and a yogurt cup. 230 calories

Lunch was a Progresso Light can of vegetable soup 

and a pile of raw celery and carrots. 190 calories

THEN we were at a cookout for the guys being deployed tomorrow 

so i ate 1 roasted chicken breast AND THREW AWAY THE SKIN.

With a little green bean salad. 

And yes.. i know the skin is the best part..

(applause for the discipline)

Not sure of the calories there... so, no total again.

I'm just excited because now i know it CAN be done. I don't think i've ever purposefully lost weight. I've actually never stuck to a diet. 

My old state of mind was like, hell.. i've already got a hottie for a husband, so i don't care what people think, i might as well enjoy all the crap food i want. 

But now i have kids.

I want to be able to do things with my kids that my mother couldn't do with me. I want to break the cycle. I want my daughter to grow up knowing how important it is to eat healthy and exercise. I don't want her to feel as rejected as i felt as a young girl. 

AHHH, the teenage years. So glad that's over.

Love, 

Kelley

Weigh IN, Week ONE.

I couldn't even wait until the end of the day to blog it.

I have officially lost 5.6 pounds in 7 days.

I am so happy that i'm holding back tears.

Motivation.

Day SIX.

ello.

That was my english accent.

Today was SO much better than yesterday. Maybe because I actually dressed myself, did my hair and

put some make up on. Men don't understand. Sometimes that can make all the difference

when it comes to being depressed. It was nice to go out and get some fresh ocean air.

Breakfast:

4 egg whites with cheddar 120 calories

Lunch:

Mixed greens salad with lite Italian dressing

and some steamed veggies.

320 calories

By the way: tonight was my first time eating out on this diet. 

Nick of course wanted to eat pizza but i complained enough, so we ate at this

amaaaazing Indian restaurant called MJ Fresh.

I had the chicken and vegetable curry.

This is how you know things are really changing for me. Any other day i would have

devoured the pita and rice. 

Actually the only reason i had a bite of the pita was to put out the flames on my tongue from the curry.

This is a proud moment. :)

And i have NO idea  how many calories were in my dinner, 

so tonight i have no total. 

I even got to walk a few laps around down town after dinner.

It was so nice out and there was a jazz band playing.

Tomorrow will be iffy too because we're going to a dinner benefit for a huge group of servicemen that are being deployed to Afganistan on Sunday.

But I think i'm getting the hang of it.

Yay.

Three Zumba routines, 15 min on the treadmill AND rode my bike for a little bit this afternoon.

OHHH and tomorrow is my first weigh in. wooooot.

I feel like i'm gonna be like the biggest loser contestants working out like crazy for "Last Chance Workout" hahahaha. 

I'm definitely going to sleep good tonight.

<3 Kelley.