Biggest Loser Blues.

I wish i could go on the biggest loser.

Its like a televised fat camp.

I've tried, but I can't. Some poor decisions i made in the past

disqualifies me from being on the show.  

That's okay though, because part of the criteria is being away from home for almost a year.. and

i wouldn't be able to do that.

BUT i really want to find a group of fatties that do this kind of stuff.

There's nothing more uncomfortable than going to the gym and it being a room full of 

hot bodies staring you down like you belong in the circus.

I want to be around other large people who are going through it too. 

One on one training scares me because i'm so nervous about  getting my feelings hurt.

I don't like when people yell at me or tell me what to do.. so i'm just afraid i may end

up throwing a barbell at somebodies face and not getting my refund.

On a side note, i've had problems with my sciatic nerve for a few years now, and yesterday

it came back to visit. Movement is limited for a few days and i HATE that i can't work out.

I'm still eating the right foods, but this is really going to slow me down for 

this weekends weigh in :(

Bleh.

xoxo.

Compare where you are to where you want to be and you'll get nowhere.

HAHA. This was a video i made a year or so ago

while goofing around.

It just so happens to be one of my favorite songs and 

REALLY matches how i've felt today.

Punching Week TWO in the Face.

Here's the deal. 

My scale is on crack.

I knew this before hand, i just never did anything about it. So this morning (weigh-in day) I go to weigh myself and it told me i gained 12 pounds. Now we know that's not possible. SO, i step off, then step back on and it said i lost 8 pounds. Which also wasn't possible. So, instead of fighting with it, and knowing i needed something more accurate, i headed out to buy a new one. 

This one measures all kinds of junk and was a bit more expensive.

Ya get what ya pay for, right?

SO. Lets say my last weigh in a week ago was accurate... if that is so.. and the NEW scale is accurate.. that would mean i lost 1.2 pounds. 

Unacceptable. 

In fact: it makes me SO mad that i'm going to convince myself that my last scale was screwed up beyond belief and i've probably lost more than that, but there is no way to ever know.

That seems like the way to keep myself going and NOT feeling like i'm doing all of this for no reason.

I mean.. really. I lose more than 1.2 pounds on the toilet. 

Here's a big middle finger to week TWO. You can't stop me.

Now, somebody come work out with me..

pweese?

Day ELEVEN.

HOLA.

First of all i would like to clarify that i HAVE NOT

given up

relapsed 

fallen off the wagon

OR

failed.

However i have been a tad busy the past few days. 

Every morning i have 4 boiled egg whites, yogurt or a banana.

I'm hooked on this low carb wheat/fiber wrap that i've been using for lunch.

Awesome part is, you can put damn near anything in it. For me, its usually chicken, romaine lettuce, cheddar and sometimes, more boiled egg whites. Lol.

  I've also been eating several of these..

There's all different kinds, and they are all yummy.

Dinner has been a lot of this....

My cooking is also forcing everyone else to eat healthy.

I REALLY need suggestions on some different veggies though.

I really only tend to like simple things.

Can't do spinach, collards, sprouts, peppers, onions, squash, eggplant, beets..

I'm confidant there is more...

A few of my friends are doing this 'green smoothie' thing.. i've been checking it out.. 

and i just don't think i can do it. 

Blending up pounds of things i don't like in the first place and drinking it...

i might need a little more convincing. 

Anyway. Tonight after din din, Nick and I went power walking around the neighborhood. I worked up a fantastic sweat and it is definitely something i'm going to incorporate that into my daily routine.

I've been so blaaah on the treadmill lately. I'll get on for like 10 minutes and can't do anymore. Which i know is bullshit, because my walk tonight lasted almost an hour.

I lost my ipod so i can't listen to anything. There is no TV in that room. I just need something to distract me from me thinking about how tired i am or how much my legs hurt.

On that note. I have decided to get a trainer. There is a place nearby called IN Shape for WOMEN, and the success stories are amazing. So tomorrow i'm going in for a consultation and my free one week trial :)

I REALLY hate to spend money on something that i could do myself. Seriously. I even cut my own hair.

But i need someone to push me to work out. 

The diet i have in the bag.. its the exercise i need help with.

Regardless, I'll be weighing in every Saturday and i'm unbelievably motivated for this life change.

Time to hit the showers.

Xoxo,

Kelley

Day SEVEN.

Okay, so its been one week on this journey.

The biggest thing for me is the amount of energy i have. 

'Last year' i would have eaten a pound of bacon and a few bagels before noon and then slept through the afternoon while the kids napped. Now i try to see how much i can accomplish while they're napping. 

OH and lets talk about how different the grocery store is here. 

This may sound silly to a few of you, but remember i'm a country girl and if its not food lion or walmart, chances are i've never heard of it. 

Well there is no Food Lion or Kroger here.

Just Publix. Actually the one next to my house is a Publix Greenwise.

Practically everything is organic and there are fruits and vegetables that i've never in my life heard of.

Maybe i'll get around to trying some eventually. ha.

But MY OH MY how my grocery list has changed..

Today was 4 egg whites and a yogurt cup. 230 calories

Lunch was a Progresso Light can of vegetable soup 

and a pile of raw celery and carrots. 190 calories

THEN we were at a cookout for the guys being deployed tomorrow 

so i ate 1 roasted chicken breast AND THREW AWAY THE SKIN.

With a little green bean salad. 

And yes.. i know the skin is the best part..

(applause for the discipline)

Not sure of the calories there... so, no total again.

I'm just excited because now i know it CAN be done. I don't think i've ever purposefully lost weight. I've actually never stuck to a diet. 

My old state of mind was like, hell.. i've already got a hottie for a husband, so i don't care what people think, i might as well enjoy all the crap food i want. 

But now i have kids.

I want to be able to do things with my kids that my mother couldn't do with me. I want to break the cycle. I want my daughter to grow up knowing how important it is to eat healthy and exercise. I don't want her to feel as rejected as i felt as a young girl. 

AHHH, the teenage years. So glad that's over.

Love, 

Kelley

Weigh IN, Week ONE.

I couldn't even wait until the end of the day to blog it.

I have officially lost 5.6 pounds in 7 days.

I am so happy that i'm holding back tears.

Motivation.

Day SIX.

ello.

That was my english accent.

Today was SO much better than yesterday. Maybe because I actually dressed myself, did my hair and

put some make up on. Men don't understand. Sometimes that can make all the difference

when it comes to being depressed. It was nice to go out and get some fresh ocean air.

Breakfast:

4 egg whites with cheddar 120 calories

Lunch:

Mixed greens salad with lite Italian dressing

and some steamed veggies.

320 calories

By the way: tonight was my first time eating out on this diet. 

Nick of course wanted to eat pizza but i complained enough, so we ate at this

amaaaazing Indian restaurant called MJ Fresh.

I had the chicken and vegetable curry.

This is how you know things are really changing for me. Any other day i would have

devoured the pita and rice. 

Actually the only reason i had a bite of the pita was to put out the flames on my tongue from the curry.

This is a proud moment. :)

And i have NO idea  how many calories were in my dinner, 

so tonight i have no total. 

I even got to walk a few laps around down town after dinner.

It was so nice out and there was a jazz band playing.

Tomorrow will be iffy too because we're going to a dinner benefit for a huge group of servicemen that are being deployed to Afganistan on Sunday.

But I think i'm getting the hang of it.

Yay.

Three Zumba routines, 15 min on the treadmill AND rode my bike for a little bit this afternoon.

OHHH and tomorrow is my first weigh in. wooooot.

I feel like i'm gonna be like the biggest loser contestants working out like crazy for "Last Chance Workout" hahahaha. 

I'm definitely going to sleep good tonight.

<3 Kelley.

Day FIVE.

I'm so glad this day is over.

I'm so tired. Brace yourself for a short venting session.

Basically my family is in the middle of a major transition and i feel stuck. My husband spends his days networking, looking for a job, school related things, VA appointments, groups at the Vet Center, and 

volunteering with the wounded warriors. 

Then there's me...being ganged up on by my kids.

cook breakfast

make bottles

pick up toys

change diapers

clean up

make lunch

pick up toys

make bottles

clean up

You kind of see where i'm going with this? Don't get me wrong, my husband is the most involved, loving father that ever existed in this world. He has just been busy lately, and i feel like my only

friend is my 2 year old. I also know that he only does things for the betterment of this family.

So i feel like a complete bitch for complaining about it. 

I'll bet by now  you're wondering what this has to do with my diet?

I have done EVERYTHING i can to stop myself from indulging in an entire box of ooey gooey

double fudge, double chocolate chip cookies. Or better yet, a big juicy Baconator and a pile of french fries from Wendys.

Literally, like, it is making my body HURT from resistance.

I guess it is true what everyone has always told me.

I really do eat my feelings.

Thanks for letting me get that out. 

I have taken everyone's wonderful advice about having more calories.

So today, this is what i had:

Breakfast:

Egg whites with cheddar 120 calories

Yogurt 170 calories

And that might be my every morning routine. Give or take a little oatmeal.

Lunch:

Pecan salad and a little broccoli and cheese dip with a pita.

Yum. 330 calories.

About dinner. It was a bust. I was so disappointed. I'm trying to force myself to try "new" veggies that i was convinced that i didn't like as a kid.. and apparently i still don't like squash. Blah.

It was a hot mess, i didn't even take a photo of it. 

Lets just say my broccoli/squash/beef teryaki concoction was 

400 calories. 

So they day is finally over with 1020 calories.

(Only two more days until my first weigh in!)

Day FOUR.

Hello again.

I want to start off by saying that a sweet friend emailed me after reading my blog with some 

amazing health tips. Most importantly, she said that i should be having more than 1000 

calories a day. 

She also told me that if i eat more protein than carbs, i would feel fuller for a 

longer period of time. Soooounds good to me.

So i looked up which foods had more protein, and it was a list of

eggs

cheese

meats

squash

and some other things that didn't sound so yummy.

That's my biggest problem.. im SO picky. I'm like a toddler.

I don't like, tomatoes, peppers, onions, and an ass load of vegetables.

Time to get over it.

Anyway.

I had cheerio's and coffee for breakfast. 

180 calories.

Lunch was weight watchers stuffed chicken.

210 calories.

30 minutes on the treadmill at a 3.0 incline ;)

then THREE zumba routines.

My legs are still shaking.

I always get tired/bored between 2 and 4 o'clock. Mostly because the kids are asleep. 

(Stayathomemomproblems)

So, since pop was home, i took my cute little beach cruiser out for a pedal.

Owww, that didn't last long. I haven't been on a bike in YEARS and i felt like everyone was looking at me.

But for the short time i was on it, i was definitely feeling the burn.

Dinner was inspired by a cool new blog that i was introduced to last night 

called skinny taste. (ThanksEm)

The coolest part is, i was convinced i was going to want a second bowl, 

but it filled my big ass up. 

420 calories.

And now its the end of the day with 810 calories.

Tomorrow I'm going to take Nicole's advice and have a bigger breakfast

and eat more protein. pinky pwomise.

(Notice i still haven't tricked myself into posting that full body photo.)

Maybe tomorrow. I've been getting a lot of good encouragement and support lately and 

you guys have noo idea how much that truly means to me. 

Love,

Kelley

It Works!.. or does it?

Raise your hand if you've ever tried a weight loss product.

So many of them i've been tempted to try. 

There is a wrap called "It Works" that i've heard a lot of success stories about, but then i think

to myself, if it were so amazing and clinically proven, then why isn't it recommended at every

doctors office or sold in stores? I have this weird paranoia thinking that everything is a pyramid scam.

If anyone has personally tried it, comment and share your experience pleeeease.

I googled it, and it seems like the people who are have the amazing reviews

also sell it.   

What about Hydroxycut?

That one is sold in stores..and Ronnie from Jersey Shore uses it. haha.

Just kidding.

kind of.

I don't know..I think i got a little frustrated today because i was looking at some other

weight loss blogs and it seemed like EVERY one of those women had some kind of 

gastric/lapband/sleeve/tuck thing going on.

I wish, oh how i wish i had that as an option. Maybe i could start up a fund raiser?

Donations for Kelley's gastric bypass!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blahh. nothing is ever easy for me.

pout.

This is what I take everyday. 

Day THREE.

I'm getting hungry. 

Seriously.

Okay its not that bad.

Yogurt and coffee for breakfast

180 calories

Lunch:

Lemon Herb Chicken from Smart One.

Not so satisfying, but for 180 calories, what do you expect?

Shortly after i had a few raw carrots and celery with light ranch dressing.

100 more calories.

-__-

THIRTY minutes on the treadmill.

Dinner:

This one was tricky. 

While trying to eat healthy, I have to make sure everyone else in the family

eats what they like.. I can't really make them eat rabbit food with me.

Ever had one of those Voila Garlic Chicken skillet dishes?

Well, they're effing delicious.

They are 240 calories per serving.. and a serving is one cup.

Well that might have filled me up when i was 3, but obviously not now.

So, i had two servings.. 480 calories.

is that bad?

I felt terrible doing it.. gahhhh, guilt is a dirty, dirty whore.

SOOOOOO. 

Today I ended the day with 870 calories...

However..

there is this certain weight watchers ice cream bar in my freezer that is calling my name.

So I may or may not be adding 140 calories to this total.

On another note:

Not that anyone told me this would be easy, but this is super hard.

I want to punch my husband in the face and steal his pop tart.

I want to just cave in and order chinese food.

I want to sit and watch Ellen instead of exercising.

But then I think about all the reasons i'm doing it.

and i keep going.

At the end of the week when i weigh myself, hopefully that can be my new found motivation.

Until tomorrow, 

Love, 

Kelley

Weighing IN.

"Don't be afraid of the scale".

HAHA, yeah right. Is there ANY woman who doesn't cringe when she takes that step 

on to the scale of discouragement?

The bad part IS, you have to know how much you weigh to know how much you're losing.

I weighed myself this morning for the first time since i was prego

(the baby is 5 months old now)

and lets just say... i've got a long way to go.

No surprise there.

And nooooo, I'm not brave enough to share that information with you.

As a matter of fact, i wont even tell my husband.

I remember being in the hospital (about to give birth) and one of the nurses questions

was how much i weigh, and because he was in the room, 

i whispered it to her. 

For some reason i carry my weight very well. I'm huge, yes, but i think i actually weigh more than i look.

OR it could be the fact that skinny people have no concept of pounds.

Regardless, the only way for me to see what kind of progress i'm having is to weigh myself every week. That 

in itself is a challenge.

Lets talk about something else for a minute..

Speaking of skinny people.

You know, those people we love that can eat whatever they want and not gain a pound?

My husband happens to be one of those.

He has a models body.. and he eats like a 15 year old.

Ranch on EVERYTHING, pounds of carbs, whole box of cereal in one sitting.

Ya know, all that fun stuff.

He decided last week that he was going to start eating healthier with me, 

so he buys some of the Healthy Choice, and Smart Option frozen boxed meals just like i did.

The only difference is.. when he made his... he smothers it with salt, alfredo sauce, cheese and/or

ranch dressing. 

Hmm.

NOT FAIR.

Ok, i'm done for now.

Day TWO.

The end of day 2 and i'm feeling pretty good.

For breakfast i had yoplait strawberry yogurt 

which was surprisingly 110 calories.

THEN i kept my promise and got on the treadmill for about 15 minutes.

Work out was at 2.0 incline and 3.2 pace.

After i felt like my legs were going to fall off, i did 2 

zumba fitness workouts. And OHH lawwd, if you didn't know- 

that is one monstrosity of a routine.

I actually thought that i had a little dance rhythm until i tried zumba.

LUNCH was the same Roasted Beef Merlot from Healthy Choice

that i had yesterday.

210 calories.

DINNER: I had a little extra time to get creative while everyone in the

house was sleeping.

Boneless skinless chicken breast - 220 calories

Lite Italian Dressing - 25 calories

1 cup of carrots and celery steamed - 52 calories

1/2 cup of mashed potatoes - 110 calories

2 tbsp of brown gravy - 25 calories

Holy cow it was yummy.

So, i'm ending the day today with only 752 calories.

(patting myself on the back)

Annnnd look what i got for myself :)

This should satisfy my sweet/salty cravings.

Thanks for reading! I think tomorrow i might post my 'before' picture. ha.

I think i'm going to post a photo every month to make sure we're all seeing the progress.

Nite, Nite.

Death to Diet Coke.

For the past several years i have had a sick addiction to 

diet coke.

So serious that sometimes i would rather drink that than eat.

Not just any old diet coke. Specifically from a can. I don't do fountain soda, 

two liter bottles or anything else. Only cans.

I KNOW a lot of you are like "its DIET coke, no calories, or sugars, no big deal"

That's what i used to think.

Even my doctor told me that there was a substance in the drink that makes you hungrier. 

To me there was nothing better than a bag of salty sourdough pretzels and a fresh DC.

I googled some things about the ingredients and it wasn't pretty.

Heard of Aspertame? if you haven't.. look it up.

It happens to be one of the main ingredients of Diet coke and ALL other diet sodas.

Basically it causes cancer. It even warns you to NOT drink Diet coke while pregnant. 

WTH?

The FDA failed to mention that one.

DC has also been linked to diabetes and obesity. 

Ironic isn't it? One of the many things in this world that is very misleading. 

SO TODAY, I'm going in my fridge and throwing out the last bit of Diet Coke that 

will ever be in my home again. 

(i hope my mother is reading this. she needs to follow suit)

Day ONE.

Today  I woke up with a new attitude. 

I took my multi-vitamin, and even had my coffee black.

My Lunch.

And NO, its not as delicious as it looks in the picture.

False advertising. 

Which i guess is my biggest problem with weight loss. 

I like food that tastes good. Like candy. (hehe)

Good news is, its only 210 calories, it had some essential nutrients in it

and it filled me up. (For about an hour)

Around 3 o'clock, I was convinced I was starving to death, so I had a hand full of pistachio's.

160 calories.

Took the kids downtown to do a few laps and to waste some time.

it didn't take me long to figure out, the more that i'm home, the more i want to eat.

Dinner Time.

Skinless chicken breasts: 220 calories

Pineapple slices: 70 calories

LITE Italian dressing: 30 calories

Bread crumbs: 35 calories

ONE cup of broccoli: 60 calories

It was tasty.

And all I've had to drink (besides my one cup of black coffee) is water. 

..and if you know me, you know about my obscene addiction to diet coke. 

I actually still have 3 in the fridge that i plan to throw away (sad face).

SO.. I ended my day with only 810 calories.

'in your face thighs!'

Tomorrow: Dusting the cob webs off the tread mill. 

{New Year, New Goals}

WELCOME to my new blog :)

Here is where I'm going to be documenting EVERYTHING about my

weight loss journey. 

Calorie counting, work out plans, and healthy recipes. And most likely where i'll be

venting my need for ice cream and doritos. 

I'll be posting 'success photos'

and I guess this is the time to finally find the courage to post a full body photo of me on the internet. 

If you search my facebook, I think the last full body picture was 

2 years ago, right after my son was born.

Things that motivate me:

-I would love to be able to wear a pair of heels for more than 20 minutes.

-Crossing my legs.

-Spanx make me HOT

-Being around long enough to see my future grandchildren

-Being sexy for my husband

So much more than that, but you get the idea. 

Wish me luck.